Mother's day...

Today is Mother's Day. It's not that long ago when I dreaded this day. As much as I loved my mom (and of course still do!), during our 10 year infertility experience, Mother's Day was a painful annual reminder of how God had not answered our prayer for children. it was a day when Motherhoood was celebrated everywhere so there was no escaping the wound of being barren, a wound that stung more than I could ever put into words. I remember avoiding church every Mother's day - and still cringe at how church's handle this day. While no one means to do anything other than to honor moms, for those who long to be moms, who pray continually to be one, and who are met, for whatever reason, with unanswered prayer, the church's policy of handing mothers flowers, having them stand and be applauded, praising their work while never acknowledging infertility -well, it's the worst.

So, I guess because of this background, even today i approach Mother's day with mixed feelings- excitement for the now, still remembering the pain of the before. Today I woke up not expecting much. Dan took his choir to Ohio and cedar pointe yesterday for a competition. he got home at nearly 2 a.m. today. He's exhausted. But by 5;30 a.m. I knew soemtihng was up. Hua Hua was awake and in our room wondering if it was time for the surprise. At 7 a.m. Hua Hua and Dan were up, and I was told to stay in bed. A short time later both girls, and their Daddy slowly came into my room. Both girls were jumping up and down with excitement. Much to my surprise they had fixed me a glass of mango juice - in a beautiful new wine glass. With some help from Daddy they had cut up a mixture of my favorite fruits served in a beautiful new bowl. and they had filled another new shiny bowl with my favorite cereal, all served on a new shiny tray.

While rachel said happy birthday :-) --- Hua Hua said happy mother's day. They smoothered me with hugs and kisses, and I never felt more loved while daddy smiled on from nearby. While God did not answer my prayers for motherhood how I envisioned or in my timing, He sure has blessed me more than I could ever hope for or imagine and I can honestly say would not want things any other way than how they are today. I love my girls and husband so much. This is already the best Mother's day i've ever had. Happy mother's day to all the mom's out there ... and all those who long in their heart to be one some day.

Comments

[Jodi]

This is a very beautiful and honest post. Thank you for sharing this! I'm so glad that your morning turned out better than you expected! It sounds like a special morning with two great little girls and a fantastic guy!

And so cute that Rachel said Happy Birthday!!

[Jody]

I can totally relate to your feelings about past Mother's Day. I asked our pastor to include in his Sunday prayer women who wanted children, but unable to have them and also birthmoms.

[Trudy Nelson]

This is such a beautiful post! I'm tearing up reading about your morning on Mother's Day. What a precious gift.